Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Human Chicks Simply Better

Nature has a way of creating an environment that is conducive to the procreation of species. Lucky for us male humans, we've got some seriously good looking counterparts in our women. (And thank God we're mammals, too!) Just think what it would be like to be a jellyfish, guys. Let's take a look-see at what our male counterparts in some other species have to look forward to, below:

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Yes, these two squirrels can be sexually distinguished. But you have to either pick them up or hope for a chance view (like this couple provides) to determine which is which.

When we get to fish, it gets worse. Yeah, they kind of look a bit different. But it's certainly nothing to get excited about (unless you're a fish, I guess).

Then we have the snake species. In the photo below, the female Garter snake is the much larger one shown (ego buster, dudes!). Other than that, please tell me the difference. They don't even have appendages of any kind for groping.

And what about space aliens? Sure, I guess if some human artist drew one up, a female alien could look pretty sexy. But in reality, since any alien beings would have completely different DNA makeups, it's entirely unlikely that us human guys would look lustily upon any visiting female alien. Just for ha-ha's, here's a photo of the dreaded "greys" of alien abduction lore. Why the heck these folks ever evolved to be gender neutral I will never understand. It's frightening to even think about.

Now let's take a look at human beings. There is just no mistaking which is which here. Of course, being humans ourselves, we are a little biased.

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There is an unending debate about the merits of beauty: Should it be judged alone, or as a part of the whole? In the case of women, I've found it interesting how us guys are strongly urged (by women) to ignore the outer ugliness of some women and simply appreciate their "inner" beauty instead. But men don't buy girly magazines so we can marvel at the pictured-woman's ability to convert fractions to decimals. So it will always hold true that outer beauty does matter greatly - at least when it comes to initial impressions. (It is true that there are many women who readily acknowledge this, except when they are hanging out with their ugly friends.)

Let's conduct a brief experiment: Guys, take a look at the photos, below. Which do you find more pleasing to the eyes? I'm going to guess the majority of you are eyeballing the photo on the right. (That was my favorite, too.)

Now, ugly people are not bad people, and this is not an ugly-bashing story. But looks do matter - a lot. And, rightly or wrongly, women are especially judged by their looks. The good news is, most women are pretty. Some less so, some more so, but almost all women have average looks.

Like most men, I like to look at pretty women. In fact, I don't like being anywhere where women are not around. And that's the way nature wants things to be - it tends to keep the species moving along. It's true, some women can be annoying. But you've gotta take the bad with the good. Below is a photo of an ugly woman protesting at a Hooters club. She is annoying.

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Women have been working to empower themselves for generations. Depending on where they were born, some have been more successful than others. In Islamic states, women are in a bummer situation. That's why many of them have opted to protest their plight, like this group in Iran did. And these chicks in Afghanistan aren't exactly thrilled wih Allah, either. I also happened upon a nifty site called "Women Thou Art God" that celebrates the power of womanhood. It is, of course, hosted by a woman, and its content is meant for women visitors. But there are a few topless photos there, too, for us guys. The site tackles such topics as the worship of women, the natural superiority of women, and asks the question, "Is there sex in Heaven?" The site is visually impressive and well designed. It might help to have a fast Internet connection, though.

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I've always felt that it's important for us to remember from whence we came: the wilderness of our ancestors. I found this Naturist site where folks feel the same way, only they choose to explore the hinterlands sans clothing, just like the other animals of this earth. I've never actually been to a nudist retreat, and I'm not so sure I've got the nerve to ever check one out. But I'll admit, the thought has crossed my mind. New England has a few, including Berkshire Vista in western Massachusetts, and Solair in Connecticut.

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Finally, I'll conclude by stating that my opinions are soley based upon my own human perspective, and I readily acknowledge that, from the viewpoint of many other animals, I may indeed be mistaken about the superiority of our females. Beauty, after all, is in the eye of the beholder.

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