Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Neanderthals No Competition

I wonder how the Neanderthals felt about The Almighty? It’s possible, I suppose, they didn’t think too much of him. So then God said, “POOF!” and now they’re gone.

That’s silly, of course. But clearly, the Neanderthals got screwed. And that’s probably a good thing for us humans – and the entire world, for that matter. We can’t even get along with our own species, never mind any kind of stiff competition. Thank God that dolphins aren’t as smart as so many folks wish they were. Of course, it also helps that they don’t have any arms or legs. Even so, I’m still glad canned tuna is dolphin-safe (sorry Charlie). Although I’m fairly certain I’d still be eating tuna grinders even if that weren’t the case.

I wonder if the Neanderthals are sitting up there, now, somewhere in their own Eternal Afterlife, looking down at us all as we butcher ourselves in the name of “God” or “Allah” or “Whatever-His-Name-Is”, and they’re shaking their heads, saying, “What the hey? We could have done that, too.”

Yes, perhaps. But could you make a better sheepskin toga? Huh? And none of you guys made fires the way we made fires. Heck, we make fires real good nowadays. As the prime minister of India mentioned proudly just a few years back: “We have a big bomb, now…”

There’s a comforting thought.

So we’re looking around the vast expanse of the Universe and we’re saying to ourselves, “Damn, this place is huge.” Then in the same moment, we’re insisting that we must be the center of attention for some Higher Being. How about that? In all the billions of light years of space, with all the billions of galaxies and stars and planets, throughout all the billions of years of history, we, the human race, right here and now, are the ultimate invention of some Almighty Intelligence. Wow.

A rather depressing thought if you happen to be a Neanderthal.



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